"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Back in the Saddle. Again. Part Deux

So a long, long time ago on this very blog I posted this entry  where I swore that I was going to get back on track and work on losing some of the weight I'd regained.

That was 4 years and at least 35 lbs ago. Since that date, instead of working on refocusing and regaining control over my eating habits, I've let it go. I've climbed back up to 240 lbs and that, my friends, is simply unacceptable to me.

While I appreciate the "you look great" commentary (no seriously, keep that coming) you have to understand that being at this weight, this waist measurement, makes me very, very unhappy. It makes me very unhappy that there are several gorgeous dresses hanging in my very closet, that I cannot wear right now because I've gained too much weight to wear them.

I don't want to obsess over weight, over what I eat, to have every single conversation be about my weight or what I'm eating (or not eating). What I do want is to get my habits back under a modicum of control. I want to not let my lazy control my eating, I need to remember that it takes the same (or less time) to cook, as it does to go out to eat. What I want, is to wear those dresses! I want to not feel like I am going to die when I go up a couple flights of stairs. I don't want to carry around this extra 40 lbs anymore.

I worked so freaking hard the last time and essentially I've thrown away a large part of that progress over the last 6 years.

No platitudes, no reassurances, that is the situation and I know it for sure. 

So with that said, I rejoined Weight Watchers. It worked for me before, it will work for me again. I am thinking I might also use my food blog, Bitch can Cook, to help me track some of the things I'm eating and cooking so that I don't run out of ideas for meals.

I am doing this for me, and me alone.

Well, me and my Pinup Girl Clothing dresses because they are far too pretty to stay in a closet unworn.

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