"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

In defense of telling your daughter she's beautiful

I've seen so many articles and blogs saying "don't tell my daughter she is beautiful" and it's bugging the shit out of me. I guess there are even some "experts" that say you shouldn't tell your daughter she is beautiful. Something about how the focus is then on looks instead of brains.

But here's the thing.

I think you SHOULD tell your daughter she is beautiful. I think that if you see someone that you think is beautiful, you should tell them that. A sincere compliment is always nice to hear.

Because growing up and never being told you're pretty doesn't make it so you never think about your looks, in fact, I think it makes you even more sensitive about your appearance. I think it can make you crave that external gratification of others telling you look beautiful, because maybe you wonder why your parents never said you were beautiful.

I don't think it should be all about looks or all about smarts. It should be both. Women can and are both beautiful and smart. I don't think that you have to sacrifice one for the other.

I know a lot of people think that we should not focus so much on appearance and while I agree with that in principle, the reality of it is, people do focus on appearances. People want to feel attractive, want to feel wanted.

I feel like there can and should be a balance in what people teach and tell their kids. It doesn't have to be all about looks at the expense of brains, or all about the brains about the expense of being "pretty"

I don't know, I am really struggling with how explain my thoughts on this. Again, I think "man I'm glad I will never have a kid so I don't really have to deal with this" but I am really curious, what do you guys have to say on this topic? How does it apply to men?

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