"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Litany Against Fear

"I must not fear.Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain"
Frank Herbert 

I know everyone knows this, or at least the David Lynch version of the Litany but read it. 
Really read it. 
Now read it again. 
Because it's true.

Sometimes fiction is truth, and sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. 

Friday, July 25, 2014

Ma'am put down the computer and back away from the internet

You know how some parents (allegedly) will limit their childrens TV time? Yeah, well I am going to start limiting my internet time. as a matter of fact, I only have 15 minutes left of my allotted hour for the day.

The constant barrage of negativity, the incessant commentary on other people's lives and how they (or you) are doing it wrong, oh and the unsolicited advice, all of these things have been driving me crazy lately. Well to be honest it's been driving me crazy for a long time but I finally realized what was going on and how to fix it, this past weekend when I spent very little time on the internet. Because as glorious as the internet is, it can also be a really shitty place.

I know a lot of people like to place the blame on social networking, especially Facebook, but unfortunately it's not just social network sites that have this shitty attitude. You see it EVERYWHERE online. In forums, in comments on YouTube, on articles written on various sites, everywhere. I think Facebook is an easy target because it makes the whining, the vitriol, the bullshit, in an easy to read format. I also think that people (myself included) feel like its a great place to share things with your friends and people you find interesting but sometimes you get diarrhea  of the mobile posts and start recording every single step, breath, meal, and problem you deal with.

I'm also putting away/turning off the cell phone more often.

We live in a world of constant contact, you can know what everyone is doing every second, of every day. If you want to get a hold of them you can call or text them and instantly get a response no matter where they are. You remember the days when you had to wait for someone to get off work before you could get in touch with them? Or you had to leave them a message and they would call you back when they got home?

In our world of constant contact it leaves no room for being alone, for being quiet, for learning how to entertain yourself, for learning how to be happy being alone because you never, ever have to be alone. You no longer have to learn manners, you no longer have to learn how to interact with strangers face to face, you no longer have to learn how to be a good friend or even a mediocre friend as long as you remember to hit that like button every once in a while. There are so many things to do and see and read, I just don't want all the distractions anymore.

So yeah, I'm not going to say "I'm taking a break from Facebook" or any of that shit, cause I'm not. I am still going to use the internet as god intended, for cat photos and porn but from now on, I am going to spend less time in the virtual world and more time in the meatspace.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Review - my current favorite moisturizer

First a bit about my skin. It's very dry but with an oily nose, incredibly sensitive, and wildly uneven in tone and texture. I have very red skin too which surprises some people, because I almost never go into public barefaced. 

When I discovered Sephora many years back, it was like the angels came down from heaven to show me the light. One of my favorite things ever about this chain of stores is that in addition to having a huge selection of items, they are always happy to give you samples which allows you to try the products before you buy. And the samples aren't your normal, barely enough to even have one full use but they usually last 4-6 applications depending on the product. This is extremely beneficial for someone like myself, whose skin likes to break out when trying almost anything new, and for people on a budget as they only sell what is considered "Department Store" or "Luxury" brands vs "Drugstore" brands like Neutrogena and Cetaphil. 

Most of my life it's been problematic at best to find moisturizer that actually moisturizes, isn't greasy but is still emollient, that doesn't turn me into the Human Pimple, and that makes my skin look and feel good. I've basically been searching for 20+ years. Add to that the fact that my skin is also aging and that adds another dynamic to finding the right skin cream. I was getting tired of going to Walgreens and randomly selecting products for sensitive skin, for dry skin, for periodic acne breakouts, for daytime, for nighttime. 

Finally I broke down and decided to go spend some real money on myself and try to get a better quality, better tested, and lets be honest here, better marketed and packaged product. Like I said, Sephora gives samples so I talked to one of the friendly gals who worked there, described my skin and it's annoyances and she gave me 4 different samples of face creams to try. 
one of them instantly made me break out, 
one of them made my skin feel taut and too dry
one of them was too greasy
and the last one was JUST RIGHT. 

And of course it's not cheap. BUT it's seriously the best  moisturizer that I have ever used in my life. I can use it daytime and nighttime, it wears well under makeup, it makes my skin feel perfectly moist and other than my monthly hormone related breakout, I haven't broken out at all. I love, love, love this stuff. To me it's worth every single penny. A jar will generally last me 3-4 months even using it twice a day, as you only really need a small amount to thoroughly cover your face and neck. 

As long as they continue to make this cream, I will buy it. I am in love. 

One thing to note - Amazon.com charges a full $20.00 more than Sephora for this exact same item so if you end up ordering online, don't order it from them.