"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Events and Expectations

what is with all the expectations we set for events? Things like birthdays, New Years, Christmas, prom, parties. People try to force events to be great or put so many expecations on an event that they are always going to be let down.

"This will be the best night of my life" 
"These New Years resolutions will change my life"

so I paused while writing this because I accidentally shot myself in the foot with my own Zen arrow.

I was about to start ranting about people hanging all of these unfair expectations on New Years and how they will get all upset if the night doesn't turn out the way they wanted it to.


So about that.

This past year my birthday wasn't what I wanted it to be. I had a list of a couple of things I really, really wanted for my birthday. I wanted to not have to drive anywhere, I wanted a nice dinner, I basically wanted to be pampered and treated like I was important. Instead I put about 80 miles on my car that day, I didn't even get to eat dinner and I had to hustle to get a designated driver to take me to the club and I was GRUMPY about it. I kept it to myself and it festered. This feeling of being unappreciated, undervalued and feeling like I don't matter.

And now I am calling bullshit on myself. Because bullshit.

I realized that I was doing exactly what I was about to vent about. Go figure what irritates me about other people is what actually irritates me most about myself even when I don't always realize I am doing it.

So what if my birthday wasn't what I wanted it to be. It's one day. It's just A day. We have the opportunity to make every single day great so why do we put so much pressure on ourselves and those around us on a specific day? Just because that is the day I was born doesn't make it that much more important than any other day. Or at least it shouldn't.

So yeah.

*THWACK* there goes that damned Zen Arrow.


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