"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Thursday, May 23, 2013

You gotta have friends... part 2

For the first 2 years I lived in Denver I rented a room from my Aunt T and her husband. They were pretty easy to live with and my Aunt T is pretty damned awesome so I never really had a lot of issues with living with them other than the fact that I was living with family and not living on my own. When I did move out, I ended up being roommates with a friend from Colorado Springs. I think around then was when I gradually started making actual friends. 2+ years after moving to Denver. 

Let me just say, I'm not shy. (DUH you may say if you have met me in meat space) I've never had a hard time talking to strangers, never had a problem starting a conversation but I was still struggling with finding friends. Like I said at the end of the last post, I more or less gave up but in reality I quit pushing so hard. Instead of bemoaning the fact that no one seemed to want to hang out with me, I would just invite lots of people to meet up at the movies or dinner or at Netherworld or any other kind of social event, I would invite them to anything that I didn't mind doing alone so if they didn't show I could (and would) still do said activity. I made myself go out and do things even if I had to do them alone. 

I would invite 10-15 people out at any given time and usually the same 2-3 people would show up and gradually we started spending more time together doing other activities. I think that this is how most friendships work but it is just one of those things that when you get so lonely you forget the mechanics of friendship. You forget how to make and keep friends because all you can think about is that you want them and you want them naow. 

As time passed these friends introduced me to other people and I was invited to different events and met still more people and things evolved over time. I am truly blessed with an abundance of friends and acquaintinces in my life. It's taken time and effort to build the relationships I have, and it will take it again. Lives change, friendships change, people move on and out. I think the real trick is be yourself, give more than you take, appreciate what you have, be a good friend to others, cut drama and dramatic people out of your life, don't lie and be happy. Find what makes you happy and do it. 

I guess I don't really know how to end this or where I am even going with this whole thing. I do know that I want everyone to be happy. I want everyone to have friends and love and laughter. I want people to be self sufficient and do for themselves instead of waiting for others to do for them. I want people to relax and not lose heart when making friends proves more difficult than anticipated. Trust, friendship and love is something that is built with time and effort. Relax. It'll happen when you least expect it to. Don't give up. 

Yeah. I guess that's it. 


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