"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Tuesday, October 30, 2012


Found this online somewhere and thought it was share worthy and that its message applies to all sorts of relationships. 

Sharing is one of the most difficult things a little can do.
When I get jealous…. or I’m worried I’m not enough….
I think back on our little talks…. our moments.
The things no one can steal, or take away,
the things I protect in my heart.
I remind myself there are as many loves as there are people
and know no one can replace what he and I have.
They can try for my prize… but they’ll just lose their own.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

It's a Wonderful Life

I had a really good weekend.
No, an excellent weekend.

Just the highlights
Saw Deviant UK for the first time since 2009 and it was AWESOME
Met the guys from Carved Souls and For All The Emptiness and they were all incredibly nice
Hung out on the tour bus with all of the bands and talk about Black Adder and EastEnders with Jay and Cheryl
Not only did I get to see Mr. S perform as Synapse, I got to see him playing keys with Deviant UK since he is on tour with them
Spent more time with Mr. S than I had originally anticipated due to a slight scheduling change
Got Santiago's for all of the bands before they left Saturday morning, can't have them leave Denver without having Santiago's!
Getting ready for Halloween shenanigans with my friends
Wearing a pretty elaborate costume for the first time in years and feeling really good in it

Cocktail party and club shenanigans
Staying up till dawn drinking wine and listening to music and generally having Bro Time with my dear friends
Dysfunctional Family Dinner Theatre
Sleeping in my own bed with my kitteh

All of these moments and so many more serve to remind me that life is good and it's fun and it makes me genuinely appreciate and love the people in my life. I have it awfully good.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

ism's - XXII

It isn't taking pleasure in other peoples misfortunes if they are just finally getting what they deserve. It's nice to see some people get their comeuppance once in awhile. 

Monday, October 15, 2012


That is on average how many children are reported missing every day. That adds up to approximately 800,000 kids a year. 800,000 a year.

115 are victims of what they call "stereotypical" kidnappings every year. That means it was someone they don't know well or at all, someone who keeps them over night, transports them more than 50 miles, kills them, demands ransom, or intends to keep the child permanently.

115 a year.

Now let me ask you a question. How many of those kids do we ever actually hear about? We just had a case here in Colorado where a little girl was kidnapped and murdered and while I think it is incredibly sad and very tragic, it breaks my heart to think of how many other missing children cases are totally ignored. The media is so selective about what cases they decide to talk about, the more sensational or lurid the detail the higher the ratings I suppose. What about all those kids who no one gives a shit about? Only their families or the occasional dedicated police office that never gives up hope and tries to let everyone know about the case. In just 5 minutes perusing the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children website, I saw so many photos of missing children that it just breaks my heart. Who knows where these kids went or what happened to them. Who knows who is missing them, who is praying for their return, who is starting to lose any hope they once might have had that their loved one will return to them.

I guess all I am saying is, don't forget all of these other children. The poor kids, the colored kids, the ugly kids, the ones that don't make headlines. Don't forget them.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

With a Little Help From My Friends

So last Saturday I woke up and went to get breakfast for Mr. S and myself and my car was gone. No glass, no nothing, just gone and I knew.

My car was repossessed. FUCK.

Before you get all judgey about me not paying my bills etc let me give you a little bit of background.

Last year I fucked up royally and had to replace the engine in my car. Thanks to some friends who gave me work to do so I could earn rather than borrow the money I was able to get my car fixed in a couple of months. Thanks to Uncle Shitty who did all the actual work and then allowed me to make payments to him for labor. Well as you might know, replacing an engine is anything but cheap but I managed thanks to a little help from my friends.


I struggled to come up with the money for part of that and as a result I let some things slide a bit but don't misunderstand me, I didn't stop making my payments I just wasn't able to pay the whole amount so I got behind. I actually got pretty far behind but I was making payments every two weeks trying desperately to get caught back up. The smallest payment I gave them was $100.00 but it was usually $200.00, every two weeks consistently for the last 8 months or so. I am generally pretty frugal and very realistic about my bills, I have paid off one credit card, the other one only has about $75 left owing on it and that will be paid off by the end of next month. I am still paying off an ER visit (with no insurance mind you) from last winter and I still have regular bills like rent, insurance and my student loan payments to deal with. I was juggling all of these things as adults do and thought I was doing okay, not great but at least okay.

Well apparently despite me trying to make amends and make those payments and get caught up, it wasn't enough for the finance company. Apparently they also didn't need to send me a right to cure notice or notify me that they thought the situation was bad enough that they were considering repo-ing my car. No voicemails other than the standard "why are you behind, can you pay x by today, can't you borrow the money or sell something to make your payment" calls, no letters, no nothing, just repossession. So I called them and they explained to me that I was 77 days behind and that my account manager had made the decision to repossess my car.


Okay, this may not be catastrophic, I might be able to figure it out. After over an hour on hold I finally got a hold of someone who was able to tell me that the finance company had decided that all I needed to pay is the amount I was behind, late fees and the repo fee of $300.00, it came up to $1200.00 which all things considered isn't as bad as it could have been. After all they could have demanded the full balance of my loan which would have been pretty much a insurmountable obstacle for me. So, $1200.00 okay, I can probably figure this out and then they told me that I would have approximately 2 weeks to come up with that chunk of change.


I thought about it a long time and finally decided to do a Chip In account for it. I felt really awkward and uncomfortable doing it but I really didn't know what else to do. I have never been good at asking for help and when it comes to money I am especially bad about it. I have always thought that I am an adult and if I get into trouble I have no one else to blame and no one else to count on and I shouldn't count on them because I should be able to dig myself out of my own holes. *ahem* but I didn't know what else to do. I had $300 already set aside for a car payment but no clue how to come up with an additional $900 in such a short time span. So Chip In it was and WOW. I am utterly blown away by the generosity and support so many of my friends (and even a few strangers) not just financially but emotionally. After just a week and a half I managed to raise what I need to get my car back and even enough money to get my tags that are due this month. I couldn't have done it without you and I appreciate it more than you will ever know.