"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

ism's - XX

                If you behave like a spoiled child, expect to be treated like a child. Grow up and take some responsibility for yourself. JUST STOP IT.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Mama PJ

I am a strong, independent woman who is perfectly capable of taking care of myself.


Sometimes, I desperately want someone to take care of me. To pamper me. Make me food, clean up for me, drive me places. You know the drill.

I've always taken care of people. It's sorta what I do. No matter how messed up I get I always make sure my equally messed up friends have water, aspirin, etc. I always make sure things are taken care of, make sure stuff gets cleaned up, take care of people when they are sick. It makes me happy and I'm happy to do it.

I've been on my own a long time, I'm used to taking care of myself when I'm sick. Being on my own when I feel low or shitty. I'm not used to having anyone around to help take care of me when I need it and I'm SHIT at asking for someone to take time out of their lives to take care of me, no matter how close we are. There have been about two instances in recent memory where I got sick, like really, really SICK and I had not one but two people there taking care of me. I don't think that has ever happened in my life other than those two times.

And it's weird. It's weird to allow people to take care of me when I'm that vulnerable and most of the time I prefer to isolate myself when I'm not feeling well. but there are times when I just want someone to bring me juice or tissues or sit there and watch a movie with me while I'm all sniffly. And yet I find it so fucking hard to ask. To actually tell someone that I want them to take care of me for a change. For them to coddle me. For them to just be there for me... Even when I know they would gladly do it.

I need to work on that.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


So I discovered that Grant Imahara is going to be at DragonCon this year and I'm unreasonably excited that I might have the opportunity to meet him. If you don't recognize the name, I wouldn't be surprised. Most people would know him as a part of the Mythbusters team but I love him for a whole different reason. Mr. Imahara is responsible for creating one of all time favorite robot sidekicks on television.

Geoff Peterson.

and this

and this

I love me some Geoff Peterson. A lot.


Thursday, May 17, 2012

Vignette #5

Going to the movies to see Mission to Mars with my dad. I'm 22 and HUNGOVER like you wouldn't believe. Struggling to make it through the movie without losing my lunch and failing miserably when they get to the part where the ship is going in slow circles over and over and over again. Later talking to my dad about the movie and the excessive amount of eyeliner that Gary Sinise was wearing and realizing that I didn't hide my hangover as well as I thought I had.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

I have a foolproof cure for that

It amuses me how there are certain things that when you talk about it, either in the meat space or on the facepage, you always get advice on how to handle it. Things like diet, insomnia and sickness....

It is inevitable that when you post about insomnia people post about melatonin and drinking water and not drinking water and sleep masks and lavender and white noise and any and all sorts of remedies. From the mundane to the ridiculous. Sadly I never wrote down any gems that I've received over the last 10+ years that I've been dealing with my own sleep issues.

You mention that you want to start eating healthy or want to lose weight and all of a sudden there are a flurry of responses like "Oh I did X diet and it was awesome" or "You should try X diet" or "I only eat x and y and I lost a ton of weight" and even the occasional "You don't need to lose weight, you look great already".

The same goes for sickness, you say you have a cold and all of a sudden everyone is a doctor and has the perfect cure for you.

I suppose this is just human nature at work. They know that something worked once for them or that their grandma, grandpa, mom, dad, whoever used to do X and it was a MIRACLE WORKER. Some people just like to tell people what to do *ahem*

Only you knows what works for you. What works for me, won't work for everyone. What works for you, may not work for me.

To each their own but thanks for the opinion.


Self awareness is a motherfucker sometimes.

Those Zen Arrows? I think they might sting worse when I lob them at myself.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

"Up, up, up the ziggurat lickety-split!"

I was at  my last job for 5 years. Five looooooong years and now I have a new job and I all of a sudden realized just how much, liking your job and the company you work for makes a difference in your day to day life.

I feel like this new job has a lot of potential and that I might actually be able to get the little things like raises and promotions. Oh and affordable health insurance.

I found out recently that they are going to keep me as a permanent employee and that means I get a raise. The first raise I've had in 4 years!

But I have found out what is more important to me. I love this job. I like a lot of the people I work with. I like the office I work in. I actually don't mind going to work, matter of fact I look forward to it. The work day flies by and I frequently find myself thinking how nice it would be to be able to work MORE hours just to be able to get more work done. Not even thinking about if I'd make more money for working more hours. I simply want to do the work. It's been way too long since I've been this satisfied in a job.

Yay me!

Something extraordinary happened on the way to Austin

I witnessed something extraordinary recently.

There was a festival scheduled to happen the last week of April in Austin, TX. Mr. S's band Synapse was scheduled to play on Saturday night and Uncle Shitty was doing A/V for the outside stage. I had him all packed and ready to depart when all of a sudden we got a phone call from Ritual telling us that he thought the festival was canceled. This was on Wednesday. The festival was due to start on Friday. What the fuck? Mr. S immediately jumped on the phone and contacted some of the people in the bands that had been scheduled to play Terrorbyte and all of a sudden a new plan was born.

A lot of the artists were already travelling to Austin, a lot of fans had flights and hotels booked, why not take advantage of the fact that these people will already be there and make some shit happen? We posted an event on Facebook called Terrorbit to try to help coordinate people who were still willing to perform or who were interested in salvaging what we could. After about 5 hours on the phone, Mr. S in combination with a handful of people in Austin and San Antonio, pulled a whole new festival out of the air.

New venues were lined up, people were volunteering left and right to play for free, to donate funds to cover flights for the artists whose flights had been canceled. It was amazing to watch the TX scene pull together. Everyone was excited and just wanted to make a show happen despite all the wanton jackassery surrounding the original festival and it's subsequent cancellation.

While the festival came together I couldn't help but wonder how it was actually going to turn out. It's easy to talk a big game about pulling together and it's a whole different thing to make it actually happen. I got messages from the Synapse crew letting me know that people had made Terrorbit posters, that there was a packed house at Elysium Saturday night, that everyone was still really excited about the entire event. By all accounts the new festival went off fantastically.

The Terrorbit poster - blurry but you get the point.

That is what is extraordinary. Not only did people pull together to salvage what would have been a total shitshow, they pulled it off and had a fantastic time.


I have wondered on occasion if the fractious Denver scene would be able to pull together to do something like this. I'd like to say yes they could. And maybe it's possible.

Just maybe.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

A couple of don't likes followed by a like

I don't like it when people say that I won't ever know what real love is because I refuse to breed.
I don't like it when people tell me "oh you will change your mind" when I say I don't want kids.
I don't like it when people tell me that the way we live our lives mean that Mr. S and I don't actually love each other. 
I don't like it when people pass out broad judgments without explaining why they feel that way
I don't like it when people continually prove how inconsiderate and thoughtless they are.
I don't like it when people don't have any accountability for their actions.
I don't like it when people argue or pick fights with you when you aren't the one they are mad at.
I don't like it when girls wear corsets with jeans.

I guess that's enough of the hate parade for now.

I do like people.
Well sometimes.
A little bit.