"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Monday, February 13, 2012


ah the dreaded Valentine's Day. It's always surprised and dismayed me just how angry people get over one little commercial holiday. Of course people get just as upset over Christmas and Columbus Day (but never Arbor Day, I wonder why that is? Maybe it's because Hallmark doesn't have Arbor Day cards)  but people are particularly vehement about their loathing of this one day. Me? Eh, it's never been a big deal to me. I was the little girl with the carefully decorated mailbox at school that always ended up empty at the end of the day, I was the adolescent who sat there while all of her friends received candy and flowers and other meaningless trinkets and  I got nothing. Yet I'm not particularly hateful of VD. I'm indifferent really. As I got older I was still wholly indifferent to the spectacle of flowers and chocolates and last minute, cheap gifts given purely to try and keep their S.O. happy. Keep in mind that from 16 to 19 I worked at a candy shop, VD was our second biggest holiday after Easter and seeing all the fancy hearts that were ridiculously overpriced just made me scratch my head in bemusement.

Or at least that is how I always saw it. When I was about 18 or so I worked with a boy who had a massive crush on me and I remember he gave me a stuffed white tiger and a rose for VD one year, it was a sweet but ultimately misguided gesture as I had zero interest in him as anything other than a coworker. I tried to give the gifts back as I couldn't reciprocate his feelings and I certainly wasn't going to buy him anything but he instisted that I keep them in the spirit he intended.

Life went on, time passed and into my life came Taylor. He felt the same way about VD but again insisted on giving me a gift.
My official License to Bitch and Cupid's headstone courtesy of Taylor, circa 1997
I gave him some silly cards and we actually had the equivalent of a date that night, it was a lot of fun. After he died, I went back to ignoring the day, still not loathing it as so many people around me seemed to. Years passed, boyfriends came and went and still I was ambivalent about VD. O and I celebrated VD to an extent, we exchanged gifts but mostly we used it as an excuse to go to Cafe Berlin... (Although I do still have the awesome Gameboy Advanced that he gave me one year)

Now, here I am, at 33 years of age and I still don't really care about VD. I don't hate it as vehemently as others do and I certainly wouldn't let it ruin my day. I am sure some people will say "well of course you don't hate it, you have a SO" yeah, about that. I haven't always had someone in my life at that time of year, as a matter of fact I've spent far more time alone than coupled.

I've always looked at like this - I don't need a specific day to show my SO that I care about him. I don't need a day to tell him I love him. I tell him that every single day and in so many different ways. I make sure that he knows I appreciate him, don't take him for granted, that I love him. And he does the same. And that is all I need.

Flowers are nice but I prefer thoughtfulness... 

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