"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Monday, January 30, 2012

That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

I realize that I fucked up my car by not taking care of it, I realize that people like to ask me how my car is and if I've checked the oil but I'm going to say this one more time. It's not funny anymore. I think I learned my lesson by having to figure out a way to replace the engine and having to pay for all that when I could barely keep my head above water as it is. I've learned my lesson and I will always take better care of it than I used to.

So please, I know you think it's funny but I don't. Just stop it. Thank you.

Friday, January 27, 2012

ism's - XVIII

I'm a work in progress, be patient with me. If I stop making progress you have permission to shoot me with the necessary arrows, hit me with that hammer or do whatever it takes to get my ass moving again. I don't ever want to stop growing or learning, if I do that then I am truly dead.

Vignette #2

Walking into Boulder Street Coffee Roasters I see a guy with long curly hair in a ponytail, sides of his head shaved and he turns towards the door and smiles this big toothy, gorgeous smile. At that moment I determine that I have to meet this boy. He was sitting with a casual acquaintance of mine so I went and sat down and just stared talking to them both. After about 30 minutes of chatting, Joe excused himself and left Taylor and I to our own devices. 30 minutes later I asked Taylor out, heart pounding so bad I thought I was going to throw up. 
30 seconds later I had gotten my first date. 

Thursday, January 26, 2012


I hate the term “making love” maybe it’s because I feel it’s such a milquetoast way of talking about sex. It’s not that I don’t think it’s possible to make love to someone because I absolutely do, it just seems so hippy dippy. I suppose people have to couch things in ways that make it easier for them to talk about but I’m just glad that I’m never going to have any spawn that I have to explain this crap to. 

Vignette #1

Leaving our room at DragonCon and I see Brent Spiner checking into his room at the desk on the Executive Level. I smile, wave and say “hey, how’s it going” He smiles and waves back at me. I maintain my cool until the elevator doors close and then proceed with my fan girl squeeing. “OHMYGAWDTHATWASBRENTSPINER” 

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Dear Reproductive System - TMI ahead. You've been warned.

I'd really appreciate it if it didn't have to hurt when I ovulate. I already get menstrual cramps so bad they make me feel sick to my stomach and the pain shoots down my legs. It would really be fantastic to not have this damned pain in my side when I'm ovulating. I realize you get cranky because you know that I'm going to deny you, your one true purpose (to reproduce) but could you not take it out on me? 

I swear as soon as I can, I'm getting this shit taken out. Nothing good will ever grow there, I know this for a fact. All it does is cause me unnecessary pain every month. 

I'm over it, this is horseshit.  

*grumble, grumble*

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Lazy Sunday

I haven't done a damned thing today. Well other than watch Big Trouble in Little China and an episode of Stephen Fry's in America (which is definitely an amusing show). I feel like I should be doing more. Like laundry or dishes or working on Tedious project or setting up the posts for the B's but I am so utterly unmotivated to do anything but lay around like a bum and watch movies. I started thinking about the why for this. Why is my motivator bad today? I realized that for at least the last two weekend's I've been really busy, what with company in from out of town, Deathwish, Club, podcasting (more on that when it's ready), thrifting (yay for finding a real fox stole for only 10 bucks!) and more Club. It's been go, go, go for weeks and this is really the first day where I can just relax in the relative peace of it just being me and Mr. S and the kitteh. I needed time to recover my inner serenity, actually I don't even know what that means but I do know that I just needed to relax.

A day of rest.

So now I am going to go watch the Rocketeer with Mr. S and I will get around to doing the posts for the B's and I am sure I will end up working on Tedious Project but for now? Movies and lazing around and pizza.

I can always do laundry tomorrow...

Friday, January 20, 2012

"It burns! It burns us!"

So last night I took a shower and put on the Bath and Body works scented lotion my mom had given me, much as I have several times before. Approximately 3 hours later I woke up in hot, itchy hell. My legs and forearms were a gleaming beet red and covered in a burning, itchy rash.


The first time in days that I finally fall asleep and am sleeping well only to be awoken by the random allergic reaction from hell. An hour and a half and 4 different variations of anti-itch cream later I finally went back to sleep. Probably one of the more annoying ways to wake up and now I can't use the deliciously scented Sandalwood and Rose lotion on anything but my hands.

Stupid body and it's stupid deciding randomly that it doesn't like something.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

class of her own, Golden Globes 2012

Tilda Swinton is awesome and fearless and I love her.

Golden Globes 2012 - part 2

Lea Michele

So this dress totally reminds me of the photos I see of the Latino awards shows. I never know who the people are but the ladies are always in these insane get ups with bad drag makeup. Um yeah, not a good look for you. Unless that is what you are going for?

Angelina Jolie

A lot of people seemed to hate on this look too but I loved it. Love the slashes of red on her lips and the top of her gown. I love the structure of the gown. I just love this look. 

Julie Bowen

I’m apparently the only one who loved her look. So many people are talking shit because Oliva Wilde wore the same dress back in 2008, I realize in that world that is a big deal but come on people that was 4 years ago! In Hollywood dog years that’s like a century. I loved the way she looked, hair, makeup everything and the giant smile she has in every single picture definitely helps. 

Juliana Margulies

Another miss in my opinion. The front of the dress just makes her look like a long vertical line with no curves at all and the color doesn’t do much for beautiful complexion. The back cut out gives the dress some visual interest but not enough to save it for me but I wills say that the earrings she is wearing totally rock. 

Freda Pinto

No, no, no. This dress looks so… stiff. Like you could set it up without her in it and it would stand on its own. It looks itchy. 

Kate Winslet

Always one of my favorites. I think she really knows how to dress her figure and wear things that flatter her. The keyhole neckline = gorgeous! 

Charlize Theron

I think it’d be impossible for her to look bad on the red carpet and for the most part I love this look. A lot of people have made fun of the sparkly head band but I personally love it. Especially paired with such a soft pink gown. The weird bow/ruffle thing detracts from the overall look in my opinion but then there are those legs! 

Golden Globes 2012

better late than never.... 

Emma Stone

This look has been pretty highly praised in the media and I for one, totally agree. The hair, the glorious smoky eyes and the color of her dress totally make this look for me. I also love the blinged out eagle belt, makes an otherwise safe outfit a little weird and more awesome. 

Shailene Woodley

The dress itself is lovely but it doesn’t seem to fit right, to me it looks like it rides entirely too low on her. Maybe it was fitted for someone with a shorter torso? But her hair and makeup look very pretty and fresh. I’m not entirely sold on this one. 

Sofia Vergara

Always lovely, I absolutely love how she always shows off her curves but I have to wonder if she is going to be the Beyonce of television. And by that I mean, always wearing variations of the exact same dress, girl show your curves but don’t be afraid to experiment with different styles!

Rooney Mara

Meh. A big ole meh. Love the dark hair with the pale skin but the hair style itself leaves a lot to be desired. The dress is pretty enough but she looks so terribly uncomfortable with everything that she doesn’t quite pull it off. Maybe if she had a little more of Lisbeth Salander's attitude she’d rock it but meh. 

Nicole Kidman

Funny because it seems like the press at large gives her a pass for always matching her dress to either her skin or her hair but I’m freaking bored with her. The dresses always fit well but I just think BLAH. Plus what is with the gold bedazzled stuff on it? Oh, it’s a Versace. That makes sense now. 

Reese Witherspoon

A lot people seem to love this look but I hate it. The front of the dress makes her boobs look oddly squished and her hair drives me nuts. I’ve always thought that groomed hair is better on the red carpet then looking like you just rolled out of bed. The color is stunning on her though. 

Jessica Alba

People seem torn on this dress, I personally love it. Shit, I’d probably wear it, although in a different color because this lilac shade wouldn’t work on me nearly the way it works with her coloring. I love the ribbon details on the side and love the dangly earrings and gigantic, expensive diamond cuff bracelet. She’s just got the prettiest smile. 

Zooey Deschanel

I’ll admit it, I used to like Zooey. I used to think she was a pretty little thing and I didn’t mind her quirkiness. Now, not so much, I blame oversaturation. She’s freaking everywhere now! And frankly, this outfit is TERRIBLE. It’s totally unflattering and the weird green panel just makes things worse. Her makeup is pretty but the hair is a bit too poufy in a weird way for me. I know she’s the current “it” girl but I took some antibiotics and I got better.

Evan Rachel Wood

Probably one of my favorite looks of the night. Maybe it’s because she speaks to the Goth in me but damn I love this girl. I don’t even know if I have ever seen a minute of her acting but I love her style. This feathery halter dress is gorgeous and I just want to touch it and the color is divine against her skin. Love!

end of Part the first... 

yes sir

I had to contact a customer today and every time I would ask her a question she would respond with “yes sir” and as a matter of fact, she referred to me as sir several times throughout the conversation. I find this humorous. Especially given the story I’m about to tell.

A long, long time ago in a shitty junior high on the west side of Colorado Springs, well the school wasn’t that bad but you know how it was. Anyway, there was this one substitute teacher, Mr. Weinberg that was apparently District 11’s go to sub as it seemed I had him for pretty much any class, at any grade level. I had him in junior high AND high school, with his plaid short sleeved shirts, glasses low on his nose and polyester pants. I don’t remember much about his teaching style or anything that he might have actually taught me but I DO remember one thing in particular. He always, and I mean ALWAYS called me “young man” in class. For 6 fucking years. Keep in mind he didn’t do this to the other girls in these classes, just me. Maybe it was because I had short hair but I know it wasn’t because I had a boyish figure considering I was a C cup at 12 years of age. 

I don’t know the why and ultimately it doesn’t matter. I’d always get so upset when he’d call me young man. It just added to what was already miserable experience and I’d get all riled up and start hating on everything but especially myself. It’s always so easy to hate on yourself, isn’t it?

Yeah thing is, nowadays I just don’t give a shit anymore. Call me young man, call me old man, call me fat, call me ugly. I don’t care. If it makes you feel better, then fucking go for it.
And I said it once before but it bears repeating, now –

I’m fucking awesome and I know it and my opinion is the only one that matters. 

the directory of awesome

The other day Ms. Jane posted a blog entry about true fans and people who are trying to live off of their art when all of a sudden it occurred to me, I know a lot of artists and musicians and people who are trying to make a living doing what makes them happy. I admire that a lot, it takes a lot of courage to try and live your dream.
So I put out a call on my facebook page for all of my friends who are artists, musicians and independent business owners to give me the links to their sites and WOW, I know some wonderfully talented people with a wide variety of talents! I am pretty sure that if I ever needed anything made or fixed I know a person who could do it!

Cat - who makes some seriously awesome costumes for himself and his lovely lady for a monthly club night here in D-town http://professorcatpardus.blogspot.com/

The incomparable Coby - http://www.etsy.com/shop/prevailingatrocity

Jenny and her recycled tire designs, I've seen her wear entire outfits made out of used bicycle parts. I can't imagine how hard it would be to sew that! http://www.etsy.com/shop/TiredDesigns

Blix and her fucking awesome jewelry - http://stores.ebay.com/Moon-Maiden-Jewelry

Allerz - http://www.etsy.com/shop/MissAllerz

Sage, the Polymer Goddess - http://www.thesagearts.com/ and the magazine she started - http://www.thepolymerarts.com/

Opee and his artwork - https://www.facebook.com/Opee.CellarStudio

Asphodel and her art boxes - http://www.etsy.com/shop/asphodel

Patty, queen of the zero hour - http://pattyleidy.tumblr.com/

Spux and well, everything that is awesome - http://sudux.com

The always wonderful and much lauded (by at least) Adam, seriously I'd hire him for anything and everything I ever needed pictures for, he always makes everyone look good - http://studioapocalypse.smugmug.com/

Tony! - https://www.facebook.com/BGPPhoto?sk=info

Eric and his band Cryogen Second - https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cryogen-second/61564538498 and he also does mastering and production with a quick turn around time email him at Cryogen.Second@gmail.com for more information

Chris and his band Plasmacrash - http://www.plasmacrash.com/

Trevor and his double threat of music AND art - http://www.kubixband.com/ and http://centrifuge.deviantart.com/

Kent - http://www.amazon.com/Kent-Kelly/e/B004AO4O36

Miscellaneous and Sundry
Chris and his custom audio solutions including high end customer Mogami audio cables, pro audio installations, recording, production, consulting, lessons and well pretty much everything to do with audio shtuff  -  http://www.psyoniclabs.com/index.html

Dylan - http://www.etsy.com/shop/cerriousdesign

Tiffany and her divination wares - http://www.etsy.com/shop/CelestialLotus

Paulie, poet, musician, gentleman and scholar - http://paulielipman.com/ and for his music http://paulielipman.bandcamp.com/ and his youtube channel http://www.youtube.com/user/paulielipman?feature=guide

Jude who fixes people! http://www.qingtingacupuncture.com/

friends of friends who are also artists and the like
Kari Merkl - http://www.merkled.com/index.html  
Wes Magyar - http://www.wesmagyar.com/index.htm
Lui Ferreyra - http://www.luiferreyra.com/index.html

and of course my own Mr. S and his band Synapse - http://www.reverbnation.com/synapsedenver

Check out their sites and buy their wares. Help support people who are actively trying to live their dreams.


ism's - XVII

Stop bitching about the things people do that annoy you, it's not making you feel any better and they most certainly aren't going to change their behaviors. You are wasting energy that is better spent elsewhere. Just breathe and let it go.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

ism's - XVI

sometimes things are free for a reason... I'd rather pay for something worthwhile rather than get something mediocre for free.

ism's - XV

Don't fish for compliments if you are just going to throw them back in the sea.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Ding Dong SOPA is dead. For now at least

As of today the US Congress has agreed to shelve the SOPA bill. If you don't know what that is, well you've been living under a rock and I'm not even sure how or why you are here. This article does a decent job of explaining it though- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stop_Online_Piracy_Act. I had heard that several websites were planning to go dark for 24 hours on Wednesday to protest this bill, websites including reddit, Sanctuary Radio, Boing Boing and Wikipedia. This bill would have had a huge impact on how we use the internet and even what we are able to access. 

The Obama administration has responded to the massive backlash regarding the SOPA bill on the White House's official website - http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2012/01/14/obama-administration-responds-we-people-petitions-sopa-and-online-piracy "While we believe that online piracy by foreign websites is a serious problem that requires a serious legislative response, we will not support legislation that reduces freedom of expression, increases cybersecurity risk, or undermines the dynamic, innovative global Internet." 

I'm glad it was shelved but I'm not dumb enough to think that this won't come up again. I just hope that our elected government still remembers that by including certain provisions in bills like these they are in fact reducing our freedoms such as free speech and freedom of expression. If you would like to read more about this bill and it being shelved check out these links




Only time will tell what is will be coming down the pipeline next. 

ism's - XIV

When you look into the void all you see is emptiness, when the void looks into you all it sees, is itself. 


 Something feels wrong and I don’t know what it is. I just have this weird, vague feeling of unease. It is annoying, this feeling. I've been unsettled since Saturday and even though I had a great time with friends new and old, I can’t seem to shake this feeling. I've felt distant, unconnected, just wrong. Like there is something wrong, maybe I did something or said something wrong, maybe something is going on with someone I know. I just don't know what this feeling is. 

I’m sure everything is fine. I’m sure this is just something in the air. I’m sure there isn't anything actually wrong.


Friday, January 13, 2012

Margaret Cho gets righteously pissed and hits a chord

A friend posted a link to Margaret Cho's website today with the following quote - "Being called ugly and fat and disgusting to look at from the time I could barely understand what the words meant has scarred me so deep inside that I have learned to hunt, stalk, claim, own and defend my own .... and my image of myself as stunningly gorgeous with a ruthlessness and a defensiveness that I fear for anyone who casually or jokingly questions it, as my anger and rage combined with my intense and fearsome command of words create insults meant to maim, kill and destroy."

 I like Margaret Cho, I think she is hilarious and I think she is pretty fucking fierce and awesome and all sorts of other great words. So I clicked the link and read it through and... no, you should read this yourself. Go ahead, I'll be here when you get back --http://www.margaretcho.com/content/2012/01/11/being-mad-on-twitter/

are you teary eyed at all? Because I was. This hurt to read, it hit home and reminds me of so many things that I have tried to forget and bury deep inside me. One line that really struck me was “all I am trying to say is that no young girl should be told she is ugly. If she is, you kill her spirit, and she may grow up like me, and lose a fan.”

I don’t think my family ever said that I was ugly. But lots and lots of other people did. Growing up I got called fat, ugly, stupid, slow and so many other names so many times over the years that instead of becoming hard like Ms. Cho did, I got scared. I got desperate. I would do anything to get people to like me and to try and prove to myself that I was loveable and that I wasn’t some fat, hideous, stupid beast that belonged in a cage somewhere. I remember many times as a child having people pretend to be my friend in order to play elaborate practical jokes on me including the old favorite of the imaginary secret admirer. I remember having people who I thought were my friends take some of my prized possessions like my favorite Barbie or my favorite book at the time and destroy it in front of me all the while telling me how they couldn’t ever really be my friend because I was far too fat and ugly and stupid for anyone to actually like. I remember in Junior high the girls who would jog behind me in gym class and talk loudly about the stretch marks behind my legs as they would take turns examining each other to make sure they didn’t have anything so hideous and disgusting on their body. I remember walking the block to gym class in high school talking to a friend and having a total stranger say “shut the fuck up you fat bitch” I remember the Halloween when my grandfather grew a huge pumpkin and I proudly carved and displayed it on our front porch only to have 3 boys from my class come by and smash it all over our porch and having them crow loudly about how awesome it was for weeks after. I remember the first boy I ever kissed in 9th grade who I later found out did it on a bet.

I remember all of these things and yet I don’t hang onto them like I used to. Growing up, whenever these things happened to me, I wasn’t hard, I wasn’t defiant, I cried into my pillow and tried to find ways to make myself better so people would like me. I’d come home in tears and my mom would tell me to be tougher, tell me not to show how much it hurt because I was only feeding them and giving them what they wanted but I couldn’t seem to stop the tears. I thought that if I tried to be like everyone else maybe I’d have friends, maybe people wouldn’t call me fat anymore. Maybe I wouldn’t feel like killing myself every single day. Maybe. I tried so hard, I changed my opinions based on who I was hanging out with, I tried to dress like my friends, I tried to pretend that when they would make jokes about my bad haircuts, my height, my weight, my boobs that it was funny to me “hahah yah I know look how fat I am, it’s so hilarious”

Don’t get me wrong, I had some real friends. A couple of whom I still talk to, both from junior high and high school. There were several people who were genuinely good friends to me and that I know I can still go to if I should need them. Once I got out of school and was on my own I finally achieved a sort of freedom. People were no longer outwardly cruel to me. I started to gain some measure of self confidence but I still continued to nurse that hurt little girl inside who always felt unloved and ugly. The little girl who suspected everyone’s motives when it came to friendship. I never dared hope that anyone could ever love me or even be attracted to me. I went through the motions of going to work, going to the Coffee Shop where I spent the majority of my free time, of attempting to make friends without anyone actually knowing me or how I felt.

That all changed in 1997. I remember the way if not the moment. I met someone as damaged, as vulnerable and as scared as I was. Someone else who felt like an alien in his skin. Someone who actually listened when I talked, told me I was beautiful (or as he wrote it beautyful) and actually seemed sincere, someone who shared his deepest, darkest secrets with me, trusted me completely and that made me feel for the first time in my whole life that I could be loved for who I really am, not who people wanted me to be. He taught me so much and he changed my world. I can look back now and see this. Back then, in that moment when we got the call that he was dead I thought  “well that’s that. No one will ever love me again, I’ll never be good enough for anyone else, he was the only one who  could ever love someone as eminently unlovable and ugly as I am” at 19 I gave up on life. Gave up on caring. Gave up on myself.

Here is the funny part. Once I gave up, I started to grow, to let go. I started to learn about myself, who I really was. I’d never really thought about what would actually make me happy. About the fact that I’m actually a pretty awesome person. This process has been slow and occasionally incredibly painful but now, finally at 33 years old I’m comfortable with myself. The final turn of the bend came around 30 when all of a sudden I realized “I’m a fucking adult for christs sake, why should I care what some asshole kid said about me 20 years ago? Why should I care about what some asshole thinks about me now?” There still a learning curve, I still get hurt over silly things people say but I don’t hang onto it anymore. I don’t hand it to that hurt little girl inside anymore. I release it into the wild where those kinds of thoughts deserve to die.

Here I am finally a grown person who has come to realize that I’m not ugly or stupid. I’m fucking awesome and hot and have a great rack and snarky personality that some people genuinely enjoy and that doesn’t suffer the assholes any longer. Fuck those people.

I’m fucking awesome and I know it and my opinion is the only one that matters.  

Thursday, January 12, 2012


Maybe it’s because I’m a mostly straight, mostly white woman but quite honestly I don’t care what color people are or what their sexual orientation is. Especially when it comes to news. I guess I understand why certain things are news but I just don’t think someone’s race or sexual orientation is what makes something newsworthy. Tell me about someone's deeds not about what color their skin is, what gender they were born as or who they love.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I is happy.

I realized today that I'm pretty darn happy. I had an absolutely wonderful weekend despite the fact that I was sickly.
Got to eat delicious German food at one of my favorite places with Mr. S and his parents,
got to go to a place that makes hard cider (one of my favorite beverages) and taste their wonderful product, seriously if you find any of Colorado Cider Company's product and you like hard cider BUY IT, (it is well worth the moneys in my humble opinion)
Got to go to one of my other favorite restaurants, Kinga's where I got to have tasty Polish food and listen to a party of 14 wish Mr. S a happy birthday
Got to go to the club with Mr. S and the Zen Archer and meet up with many other friends
Got to spend the entire day on Sunday at home in bed with Mr. S, watching movies and relaxing.


ism's - XIII

Just because someone died doing something heroic doesn’t make them perfect. Do not deify anyone. People are both good and bad. One deed doesn’t change who a person is or was. Be proud of their accomplishments but be aware that they are still human.

Monday, January 9, 2012

What’s cooking?

I really like to cook and I consider myself a fairly decent cook and to the best of my knowledge no one has ever died from my cooking. so there is that. When I lived alone I cooked all the time, I tried out new recipes and made up others as I went along. Then I moved into a friends house and my cooking started to taper off and then I got together with Mr. S and we started eating out pretty much all the time so I have gotten out of the habit of cooking and I miss it. 

My goal for 2012 is to get back to cooking, I really miss it and I know that getting back into cooking and preparing my own meals will also help me control my calorie intake and it will enable me to eat healthier which in turn will help me feel better. I am also trying to get Mr. S to eat at home more often than we eat out, which can be challenging when his school schedule means that I have to take him directly to class when I get home from work. 

I started by doing some basic meal planning. I find that menu planning helps me stay on track and it absolutely helps me stay on budget when I go to the grocery store. This week’s menu includes leafy green salad with grape tomatoes, beef pot roast with potatoes and baby carrots, Porkolt (Hungarian Stew with Pork), and sausage and lentil soup. I figure all of these things will not only feed me at dinner time but the leftovers will be great for lunches so I am not tempted to go out to lunch during the work week. And since Mr. S starts class again tonight I wanted to pick things that I could throw in the crock pot in the morning before work so that he could have a home cooked meal before he heads to class in the evenings. Plus it will be awesome to get home from work and having dinner ready and waiting for me. 

Maybe, just maybe I can go an entire work week without eating out?

Stranger things have happened. 

end trans

I’m tired of you incessantly going on about how boring ____ is or how much you don’t like _____ or deriding someone else for them liking _____. Frankly, YOU bore me and I’m over it. 


Thursday, January 5, 2012

The Max

There was a brief period of my youth when Colorado Springs actually had an alternative music station. The dial down there is normally full of country, classic rock, Christian and hip hop stations so having a true alternative station was a revelation for me. I finally heard music I actually liked and connected with on the radio. I listened to it non-stop and I was heartbroken when it off the air. Funny how that one station managed to encapsulate an entire period of my life... 

It’s funny how at the time everything seemed so complicated and difficult and how unhappy I was with so many aspects of my life and now I look back at that time and realize how uncomplicated things really were. 

Oh nostalgia, you tricksome bastard. 

Monday, January 2, 2012

Fare thee well 2011

It's now 2012. That's weird to say. Allegedly it'll be the final year for humanity or the world or whatever bullshit you chose to buy. It's a year. Just like 2011 was just a year.

Filled with good and bad times, fun times and boring times. It was a year. I have had great fun with people I love and I have had some hard times trying to figure out how to fix a car on an already strapped budget (which thanks to my friends and family I was able to do) I've learned a lot about who my real friends are and who my jog-trot acquaintances are. I made new friends, lost old friends. I'm not happy to see the end of 2011 but I'm also not sad.

As for resolutions, I don't do that. Goals sure, but not resolutions.
So here are my goals for the year of 2012
new job (or maybe even starting an actual career)
finally getting all my bills caught up and current
paying off the one credit card I have
continue to go to the gym at least 2 nights a week, 3 or more if possible
be  happy more than I'm not.


ism's XII

 Respect is hard to earn but it's practically impossible to regain once lost.

a new year doesn't actually mean all that much to me

I've never been one to place a lot of importance on the New Year holiday. It's just another day that someone somewhere in the past decided was important. I've never really understood why people make such a big deal out of it and get all upset if they don't do something that they consider wonderful or fulfilling on that day.

That said, that doesn't mean I don't like to celebrate it. Spending times with loved ones and friends and getting dressed up is always fun. Of course that's Saturday night for me most of the time. This New year was no exception. It was standard Saturday night fare at Ye Olde Goth Club. Saw people I like, saw people I don't like. Talked to a lot of people, lots of hugs and smiles and chatting and laughter. It was fun but not particularly special but it doesn't need to be special. It is what it is.

New Years Eve is just another day people, so quit worrying about making it something special and just enjoy what you have.

ism's XI

Just because your responsibilities are out of sight doesn't mean they are out of mind. Take care of your shit.