"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Can't get no...

Satisfaction that is.

I was thinking this morning about how I keep wanting satisfaction out of my job. I don't even really know what specifically will give me satisfaction but I WANT IT. Then I started thinking about when people started expecting to get something akin to satisfaction out of their work.

It seems to me that that is a recent development. I could be wrong but it seems that for years work was seen as something you have to do to survive and that it is unreasonable to expect anything out of your job other than a means to earn money and to survive. I wonder if this is something unique to my generation, Generation X or Y or the Millennials or whatever the hell generation I belong in.

I certainly never heard my mother and I most definitely never heard either one of my grandparents say anything about a job being satisfying. It had to be done. Period. But it also seemed that is how their whole life worked. You did things because they had to be done or were supposed to be done. Marriage, children, buying a house and a car, working 9 to 5 for The Man whoever that man may be. Every day, they went through the motions because that's what they were supposed to do.

I want more. I want to do something that even if I don't love it, I don't loathe it. I want to feel like I actually did something during the day that a trained monkey couldn't do faster and cheaper. I don't care if I have unrealsitic goals about work, I have a lot of friends who have jobs that they love, that allow them a lot of freedom, that make them more happy than not. I have done so much in ensuring that my personal life is happy and fulfilling, now is the time to focus that energy on my professional life.

Updating resume, commencing NAOW. 

Tis the season for greediness

In the days after the Christmas holiday I saw a lot of people reposting several different articles about these terrible people bitching about what they didn't get for Christmas.
 Just two examples of the articles that were posted and reposted liberally over the last couple of days. If you do a google search for horrible people didn't get what they wanted for Christmas you come up with over 300,000 results.

Okay, it's true these people suck and are entitled assholes but here is what is bugging me. What about all the people talking about the things they DID get for Christmas? How is that any better than bitching about what you didn't get?

Maybe it's because my family and I didn't really do gifts this year, maybe it's because I couldn't afford to buy anything for any of my loved ones and instead chose to focus on the time I got to spend with my loved ones rather than the money I spent or the money they spent.

It seems just as distasteful to harp on about what you got as it is to complain about what you didn't get. Is it really that important to you? Why does it matter so much what people give you and what you give people?

I just don't get it and I don't think I ever will. 

Friday, December 16, 2011

opera binge

This past Saturday I went to the Denver Pavilions and saw The Met's live in HD performance of Faust. It was fantastic. I developed two new crushes almost instantly, René Pape who plays Méphistophélès and Jonas Kaufmann who played Faust were both wonderful. This here is my favorite song from the opera - 

unfortunately they don't have video of him singing it in the actual production because the combination of his lovely, rich voice and the people dancing manically below him... well it gave me goosebumps. 

It's funny, every time I see an opera I am reminded of just how much I love opera.  It always makes me weepy and emotional. There is just something about the power of the human voice and the orchestra and just everything. I'm not eloquent today. Or ever really but I hope my point gets across at the very least. 

So anyway, I have been on a total opera binge since Saturday. I discovered that The Met Opera site has a 7 day free trial with access to over 300 different performances including classic productions, live in HD productions and audio recordings. 

this is the list of operas that I have listened to this week -
Madama Butterfly
Boris Godunov
The Barber of Seville
The Magic Flute
Le Nozze Di Figaro
Eugene Onegin
Tristan und Isolde

My free trial ends Sunday. I might have to pay the 14.99 for at least one month because they recently did the entirety of the Ring Cycle and it looks fantastic.

If you need me, I'll be huddled in front of my laptop for 12 hours watching Wagner. BRB.

Monday, December 12, 2011

I like books. And history and I really love books about history.

I love books about history. I am somewhat of an Anglophile and tend to read quite a bit about the United Kingdom. The dynamics between the Brits, the Scots, the Welsh, the Irish, the Cornish, the Manx and all the other people that make up that part of the world has always fascinated me. The fact the Saxons, the Anglo-Saxons, the Celts, the Normans, the Danes and all the other people that have inhabited those islands have all had an effect on the world I currently live in. My language, my traditions, etc are all influenced in one way from my ancestors.

One of my all time favorite history books about the British Isles is called "The Isles" (clever title, isn't it?)

it's a brick of a book, my paperbook copy weighs in with 1,222 pages and I can't recommend this book enough. It covers all of the British islands from Pre-History all the way to Post-Imperial times. It is surprisingly entertaining throughout and I can honestly say that I have read this book at least a dozen times and it never bores me.

The whole point of this blog entry is that I couldn't find this book for quite awhile and when I tried to find a new copy I discovered that new copies of the paperback are about 50 bucks! I think I paid about 25 bucks for my copy back in 2000 when it was published. So I was digging through my trunk awhile back and low and behold! I found my book! YAY! I've started reading it again and I'm reminded at how much I love history and learning about all the interesting things that have happened in the world.

One of these days I'm gonna go where the history comes from.

Friday, December 9, 2011

ism's - X

Take the rose colored glasses off. The past wasn't simpler, easier or better than the present. Each time has it's struggles and glories. If you focus too much on what has happened you will miss what can happen.

7 things...

Ms. Jane posted a blog the other day with a challenge, post 7 things about you that people may not know. I started thinking about it, there isn't a lot about me that people don't know because frankly, I am an International Woman of {no} Mystery. But after some struggle this is what I came up with

1. I have a half brother that I have never met. He was born exactly 7 years and 1 day before me to my mother and her first husband. I grew up hearing about him but he never knew I existed until I was 14 when he contacted my mom and I. I talked to him for about 10 minutes. That is the only contact I've ever had with him. I am not sure if my mom is still in contact with him and frankly I don't really care.

2. I went to beauty school and graduated and even got my cosmetology licence. About halfway through school I knew I didn't want to do hair for a living but I didn't want to quit school so I finished, took the state boards, got my license and then used it just to get salon products at cost. Unfortunately my license lapsed a couple of years back so now it's back to getting my friends to help me get cheap product!

3. I started reading when I was 3 years old and have a serious love of books. Both my mom and Mr. S have occasionally sworn off buying me books because I read them too fast. At one point Mr. S bought me 3 books on a Friday and I had finished two of them before Monday morning. He has since repealed that statement and said that he will buy me a book occasionally but that I have to learn how to pace myself *laugh* There have been days when I have read so much at one time that I literally felt like the words were going to start coming back out of my head.

4. I shoplifted once in my life. Once. I was in 7th grade and I was with an older girl and we promptly got caught. I immediately started crying because I knew I was royally screwed. Sitting up in the office of the King Soopers on Uintah in Colorado Springs listening to my mother tell the manager "you must have the wrong number because my daughter wouldn't steal" was probably one of the most humiliating moments in my life. Never stole again.

5. I didn't leave Colorado until I was 19. My first trip out of state was to go to Vegas with Taylor's parents and his little brother. They basically paid me to babysit Cameron and go watch motorcycle races at UNLV. It was a great time and they took me to Vegas about 5 times after that. His family were always incredibly kind and generous to me and for that I will always be grateful. I need to dig up that picture of all of us at the Star Trek experience where I'm all skinny and holding a phaser....

6. My mom had to make my prom dress for me. Everything that came in a size 18 (in 1996 at least) made me look like the mother of the bride. Pink (of course) and satin and off the shoulder. Very me. And? I didn't have a date so I went with 3 of my good friends and we all had a great time.

7. um shit... I can't think of anything else... How about this, you have any questions about me?

if you'd like to, give me 7 factoids about you that I might not know. I love this shit.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

The Moments between - Part deux

a hand resting lightly on your hip when you wake up

watching two friends discover each other and discover that they do still deserve love and companionship

kitteh snuggles

having conversations that regularly end with "I know right?"

About me

I suck at writing those about me statements that every social website wants you to write. I can never think of anything that I deem to be clever or funny enough. If I just wrote out the things I like it would go something like this

"My name is PJ and I like books and boys and makeup and boys and Star Wars and boys and dresses and my favorite color is pink"

and I suspect everyone would come to the conclusion that I was a 10 year old girl pretending to be a 33 year old woman...

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

ism's - IX

The world has been ending since it began. Stop worrying about the impending end of the world and start worrying about the beginning of your day. 

A Dream Deferred by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Dear fellow Coloradans - It is just snow

I live in Denver, it is Decemeber and there is snow on the ground.

Quelle Surprise right?

What I find funny is just how many people have been going OHMYGODSNOW and are planning on staying in all day and night because there is a couple of inches of snow on the ground. Um really?

 if i stayed in every time it snowed in CO then I would rarely go anywhere in the winter time. yes there is definitely a time to stay home and not go out in inclement weather but it seems to me that lately we here in CO have become spoiled with the incredibly nice weather and lack of snow and now don't know how to react to it when it does actually snow. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with just deciding to stay in the whole day and relax, that is what I did for the last two weekends for the most part and it was freaking awesome.

Anywho, the other day it snowed just a couple of inches and people were freaking out. It took me an hour and a half to make what is normally a 25 minute drive. People driving 5 miles an hour or driving like total assholes. Irritating as hell. it's not that I am unsympathetic to people who get nervous driving in snow and ice. I get nervous too. But seriously. Maybe it's because I am such a cantankerous bitch but I just want to yell at people and tell them to get the fuck over it.

So yeah, I am going to lunch today with friends, then to the store and I am going to Ye Olde Goth Club tonight. And it's going to be fun and it's going to take me longer to get there than normal but that's okay.

It's Colorado, it's winter. Snow happens.