"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Sunday, September 4, 2011

here comes the bride

I went to a wedding yesterday for two friends of mine and it was lovely. Both bride and groom looked wonderful and you could tell just by watching them interact that they truly and deeply love each other. I am so happy and grateful that I was able to be there for them both to share in their expression of love and happiness.

Weddings tend to make a bit melancholy anymore. It isn't the actual wedding that makes me a little bit sad, it's the inevitable father-daughter and grandfather-granddaughter dances that make me feel a little misty eyed. It makes me miss my dad, grandfather and grandmother a lot. I don't want to get married, it's just not important to me at all. But it's the knowing that my dad won't get to see how happy I am right now. Knowing my grandparent's aren't ever going to see how happy I am right now. I miss going thrift store shopping with my grandma and having her find the most fantastic things in some dusty, dark corner of the stores. I miss going to the Colorado Springs Balloon Classic with my grandpa and getting up at O Dark Thirty to go stand in the field at Memorial Park to watch the balloons take off. I miss going to see silly movies with my dad.

As Mr. S and I were leaving the wedding reception last night I admit it, I was a little teary eyed. I was so happy to see Frog and Mara get married after 7 years of being together. It was wonderful to see them and the way they look at each other and knowing just how much they love each other. But there was a tinge of melancholy because all of a sudden I realized just how much I miss these people that have been gone from my life. I love my family. I love my friends. I just hope that they know that.

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