"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Go the fuck to sleep

tonight was one of those nights.

I was so tired that I decided to go to bed before midnight. My eyes were drooping while trying to watch a movie with Mr. S. I felt exhausted. Of course 4 hours of sleep and a ton of wine the night before probably played a part in my level of tiredness. I said my goodnight and went upstairs thinking I'd fall right asleep.

Not so much

here I am almost 2 hours later. Awake. Laying in bed. I lay here, eyes open, mind racing and getting irritated. I'm fucking tired and I want to sleep and yet... I have a snuggly warm kitteh next to me and my bed is comfy and yet... I close my eyes and try my old tricks. Counting. Counting actually does work for me but tonight I am so unfocused, unable to concentrate that I keep losing my count. I don't know that I have counted past about 30 without losing my place. The cat senses my irritation because she is being particularly affectionate and cute. But all I want is to sleep. I've given up on the idea of 8 hours of sleep. That doesn't happen to me unless I medicate myself and that's okay. I function perfectly well under 5 hours of sleep. I just hate feeling this freaking tired and not being able to fall asleep.

i just want to go the fuck to sleep now please and thank you. I have shit to do tomorrow.

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