"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Friday, July 15, 2011

FAIL no more

So as you may have gathered I have been under quite a bit of stress lately and damned if my body isn't being to feel the toll of all that stress. I've gained and lost about 10 or 15 lbs. I managed to pull a muscle in my back. I've either been sleeping too much or not enough. I've either eaten too much or not enough. Too much caffiene, too much sugar, too much fat and way too much moodiness. All of these things are tied together. It's a vicious circle that I keep perpetuating and adding to.

I HAVE to get off my ass and back on track. I realized that the last time I felt this spiral happening I got fat. Seriously fat and I am not that person anymore. Nor will I ever be that person again. I know I have written about this before and I did okay for a little bit and then I quickly spiraled back out of control. This time though I am serious. I mean business. Because when I went to the doctor this past week and discovered that I am back over 200 lbs I realized just how much I have slipped. Granted I only gained about 15 lbs but the point is that I swore I wouldn't let myself get up to 200 lbs again. It's time to take myself to task and get my shit together.

I will not be this woman again. I left her behind  in 2008. Just a little reminder to myself.

I have a friend J who wants to start walking after work. We have made plans to do it several times only to have monsoon rains every day that we have planned to walk. That is what they make umbrellas for right? And rain jackets. I am going to borrow a bike from a friend and try to start riding a bike again. I haven't done it in years so I am sure there will be a level of hilarity involved in that. Well for other people, not so much for me. I have gotten better about cooking at home and I still try to make sure I use lower fat options for easily replaceable items. I need to re-teach myself to portion properly and to snack properly. It won't be easy and it probably will cost more for food but I have to do this.

Now if only I could convince Mr. S that healthy food is as important as exercise....


  1. I think you're beautiful Pj, inside and out. I hope things become a little more easier for you in the weeks to come. Here if you need me always.

    <3 Xoxox

  2. Not that you asked for advice, but you know how good we are at giving it. ;)

    I think it's awesome that you're cooking at home! You're one of the lucky ones with a regular schedule that would allow you to do so on a daily basis. (it's kind of impossible when you don't get home until 11:45/12:00 at night)

    Here's some Whole Foods koolaid: http://www.eatrightamerica.com/home

    If you want the short version, there are no dietary "restrictions" per say (as in, you can still eat meat and carbs, and starches, etc), but before digging in to lunch and dinner, eat a full salad. Essentially, filling up on veggies first, then eat whatever else you want.

    For sugars, buy fruit, and eat as much of it as you'd like. I have an atrocious sweet tooth (and a grease tooth right next to my starch tooth), so being able to eat fruit doesn't always sate my chocolate/candy cravings, but it definitely helps curb them.

    Eat as few "processed" foods as possible. The closer you are to the food in it's natural state (potatoes vs chips, fruits vs refined sugars, etc.) the easier it is for your body to process it, and the more nutrients you are actually getting from the foods you eat.

    Take a multi-vitamin, and if you can stomach it, take a B supplement. Vitamins help curb cravings, while giving your body what you need, and Bs help you turn your carbs into energy. Try looking up what's in the foods you eat to see what you're craving (i.e. milk=calcium, bread=iron/sodium/fiber) and find healthier alternatives to tricking your body into getting what it needs. I love chips, but can substitute for something like pickles which are low calorie (only thing to watch out for with pickles is sodium, 'cause it retains water in your body)

    As for the biking, that's awesome too, and it really helped me lose when I moved to the city. I'm sure you already know the scoop about exercise though.

    Know that myself, and surely others, support you. Holler if you want to chat. :)

  3. also, this site is a pretty good reference for the food thing: http://www.livestrong.com/healthy-foods/

  4. Tell Mr. S to eat what is put in front of him. Seriously. He'll either give in to healthier habits, learn to forage for himself, or starve to death.

    My point is put yourself first or your goal is over before it starts.

  5. Thanks ladies!

    PS Diva- oh no worries there, he is very well aware of the fact that if he doesn't want what I have prepared he is on his own. He usually will eat most of what I cook. I just want to get him to start eating more veggies and stuff.