I've been thinking about change. A LOT. Of how people can change. How lives can change. How opening your mind and heart to different ideas and ways of life can irrevocably change your path. And also about how you have to be open and receptive to change in order for it to actually work. I fully believe that anyone can change if you want it enough.
I talk about it a lot but I have really changed considerably over the
last 2 years or so. Like so much so, that I cannot even imagine the
person I used to be in relation to the person I am.
There was a list of
things that I said I would never do. I was adamant about NEVER doing a whole litany of things. Mostly because I was scared of what it would mean if I liked these things. These things that would challenge my belief systems.
I understand why humanity as a whole is scared of change. It is scary. And sometimes incredibly painful. But with that said I don't think that I could or would go back to who I was.
I've opened so many doors in my mind. I have had so many amazing and new experiences. I have changed the way I think about things, how I process things, my beliefs about love, relationships, my long held ideas about sex and it's perceived importance. I have become a much happier person over the last couple of years. I've learned how to let go of a lot of my baggage and just enjoy the ride.
Oh don't get me wrong, I still have my days. I still have my weeks. Circular thinking, self sabotage, self loathing, picking at old wounds. But the difference is that now I recognize what I am doing and actually make an effort to knock it the fuck off.
Because really, an open mind is a terrible thing to waste.