"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Expectations are tricky bastards

I was having a discussion with a friend about expectations and how sometimes they sneak up on you.

You get upset or mad at someone because they don't do what you WANT them to do even though you have never communicated to them what you want or need them to do, you just expect them to want the same thing you do.

I realized that sometimes you don't know that you have these expectations until they are disappointed. And we all know what expectations lead to don't we kids? Disappointment and resentment and anger.

So I had to think of what to do when these expectations pop up unexpectedly. How do I handle them? How do I handle the surge of disappointment when I realize that I had EXPECTED someone to want the same thing I did?

I let go of it. LET GO. Yeah, yeah a lot easier said than done but I have to try because if I don't? These things will drive me fucking insane and I will constantly be filled with anger and disappointment in those around me.

With that said, I absolutely think it is important to communicate to others I have a need or a desire that is reasonable. Like "I would really like to spend X night with you, just the two of us" but ultimately it is up to that person to determine whether or not they are able or capable of meeting my stated desire, need, request.

Communication is key. And learning the difference between a need and a want is key. And learning how to accept that not everyone can or will give you what you request from them. And learning what a reasonable desire is key. And realizing that ultimately you are the only one responsible for your own happiness in life.

To quote from Ms. Diva "another can never please you to the level you expect."

lessons learned and constantly worked on. It never ends does it?

1 comment:

  1. Nope. It never ends. That's a reasonable expectation you CAN have *laughing*.