"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

IT'S A TRAP!

The worst traps we fall into are the ones we self create. The circular thinking, the trapping ourselves in a box. The falling into old patterns.

I caught myself doing that the last couple of days. Falling into old thinking patterns, ignoring all the things that I have learned. Blowing off the person I have been striving to be. And the worst part is that I started to drag other people into my negative spiral.

NO. Not again. That is who I used to be. Making myself miserable, not ever thinking about how to fix whatever it was that was bothering me or even taking the time to figure out if my misery was all self created drama. If I was digging my own hole or if there was actually something wrong. Dragging other people or trying to drag other people into my misery so I could feel like I wasn't alone.

That was the old me.

I'm apologizing to you

and I am apologizing to me

Feel free to tell me JUST STOP IT next time you catch me doing that. Or maybe giving me a good ole smack upside the head. Seriously. If it's this annoying for me I cannot imagine how irritating it is for the people around me.

2 comments:

  1. Been finding myself oscillating a bit these days. It gets easier once you realize it's a trap. :)


    Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
    by Portia Nelson

    Chapter 1

    I walk down the street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I fall in.
    I am lost ... I am helpless.
    It isn't my fault.
    It takes forever to find a way out.

    Chapter 2

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I pretend I don't see it.
    I fall in again.
    I can't believe I am in the same place.
    But it isn't my fault.
    It still takes a long time to get out.

    Chapter 3

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I see it is there.
    I still fall in ... it's a habit.
    My eyes are open.
    I know where I am.
    It is my fault.
    I get out immediately.

    Chapter 4

    I walk down the same street.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I walk around it.

    Chapter 5

    I walk down another street.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It does indeed get easier to get out once you realize it is a trap. Sometimes it's safe and warm to fall into old patterns even when you know they are not a good place to be in.

    PS I love the Autobiography, I am going to have to repost that on the facebook. There are some people there that I know would appreciate it. Thanks lady!

    ReplyDelete