"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Friday, January 14, 2011

My Way

one of those songs that evokes powerful memories. Bittersweet, painful, happy and sad memories.

Both this version



which was included on a cd of music we made after my grandmother died and we played it at the funeral service while people were telling stories about her. My grandmother was a wonderful woman who I love very much but she was occasionally an odd cookie. Her fixation with interior design books, Christmas decorations, Pendelton plaid slacks
just like these and she had them in yellow plaid too!
and Readers Digest books. She definitely had her own way of doing things and looking at things. We used to have thrift store days where she and my mom and I would go to every thrift store in Colorado Springs and I swear my grandma could go to some dusty corner where no one has looked in years and find some of the most amazing things ever. The way she would make me these giant pancakes that I still to this day cannot figure out how she could flip them over without messing them up.

and this version


which we played at Taylor's funeral and I have very clear memories of standing next to the table where placed photos and personal belongings for people to look at, tears running down my face and my hands fumbling with the rose corsage that his parents gave me to wear. People hugging me, me barely able to function and then this song came on. All of us that truly knew Taylor, couldn't help but laugh. It was so him. And to be playing it at a church (a Unitarian Church but still a church) where there was a weird mix of the Goth kids and middle aged hippies. And then directly after that there was a 21 potato gun salute, (well it was more like 4 potato guns) and a windsheild got broken and the cops showed up and well it was all so strangely appropriate. And so Taylor.

I guess the point is both versions of these songs still have the power to put tears in my eyes as I remember two people who I loved very dearly and I realize just how much I still miss both of them even as my life goes on.

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