"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

talking to myself, future and past

Prompt: Future self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell yourself?)

 PJ 2011 -
You've gotten better about it but seriously, JUST STOP IT. You know what I am talking about.
PJ 2016

Pj of the year 2000 -
A couple words of advice for you.

Never doubt your decision to move to Denver, it will become your home and you will absolutely love it.

I'd tell you not to contact Blaine, to just live with those rose colored memories of him and the feelings you have for him but I know you won't listen to me. Just keep in mind when he leaves you that Saturday morning, it sets your feet on the path to real love and friendship with people who can and gladly will tell you when something is wrong as opposed to just walking out and leaving the country with no explanation. Don't hope for any kind of explanation either. You won't get it.

You are going to lose Grandma, Grandpa and Dad, 3 very important people in your life, in a pretty short time span. It will be hard, it will be painful but you will make it through. Remember how much they loved you and how much you love them. Don't let __________ hurt you so much at Grandpa's funeral. It isn't worth it. Don't let _______ guilt you at your dad's funeral. It isn't worth it.  Remember they handle things a lot differently than you do and although they do occasionally take things out on you, they love you very much they just really, really suck at showing it sometimes.

The pain of Taylor's death really starts to ease as you move through life in a new city. You will still miss him but it isn't nearly as painful to think of him anymore. And you can start to listen to Isolation by Joy Division without seeing his suicide letter in you mind. Letting go of him is the best possible thing you can do. Always remember him and your relationship but let him go.

There is more I could tell you but knowing you, you won't listen because god knows we only ever learn things the hard way. Trust yourself and your choices and don't trust everyone just because they act like your friend and you will be just fine.

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