"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Friday, December 17, 2010

In Memory of Jo Carole Evarts

My grandmother, Jo Carole died a little over 8 years ago in November and every year at Christmas time I think about her. It was her favorite holiday. She had boxes and boxes and boxes of Christmas decorations. She'd go all out with our Christmas Eve dinner including olive and veggie trays. Fresh canonlis from the Italian bakery that she really liked. The big green candles that she would put in the giant brass candle holders on the fireplace. Christmas and my grandma will always go hand and hand in my memory.

She also loved Christmas music, especially this song.

This was definitely her favorite Christmas song. And oh boy does this song conjure memories for me. We heard it every year but beyond that... well let me tell you a little story.

My grandma passed away right around Thanksgiving in 02 and when my grandfather, aunts, uncle and mom piled in the van to ride to the service that song came on the radio. When we again piled in van to go to the graveside service, the song came on a second time.
But here is the really cool part, the day was very cloudy and gray, almost dark, when we stopped at the grave site the clouds parted a little bit and the sun shone down into the cemetery and a random deer was grazing not 20 feet from where my grandmother was being buried. We all stood just outside the van for a second, with the radio still on, still playing her song and I think felt a little bit of solace at that moment. I don't believe in a God or anything like that, but it was one of those moments in your life that just... shit I can't explain how it made me feel. Maybe someone who is better with words could do it but I just can't do it.

The point is, I miss my grandma. The pain of her loss is largely gone, only a tinge of sadness when I listen to this song or something else reminds me of her. I will always be grateful for the fact that I got to spend a lot of time with her growing up and that she was such an important part of my life. I love my Grandma.

PS the song came on a different station as we were driving back to the house for the wake. Yup.

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