"I want to be my own design" Clive Barker - Imajica

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Litany Against Fear

"I must not fear.Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain"
Frank Herbert 

I know everyone knows this, or at least the David Lynch version of the Litany but read it. 
Really read it. 
Now read it again. 
Because it's true.

Sometimes fiction is truth, and sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. 

Friday, July 25, 2014

Ma'am put down the computer and back away from the internet

You know how some parents (allegedly) will limit their childrens TV time? Yeah, well I am going to start limiting my internet time. as a matter of fact, I only have 15 minutes left of my allotted hour for the day.

The constant barrage of negativity, the incessant commentary on other people's lives and how they (or you) are doing it wrong, oh and the unsolicited advice, all of these things have been driving me crazy lately. Well to be honest it's been driving me crazy for a long time but I finally realized what was going on and how to fix it, this past weekend when I spent very little time on the internet. Because as glorious as the internet is, it can also be a really shitty place.

I know a lot of people like to place the blame on social networking, especially Facebook, but unfortunately it's not just social network sites that have this shitty attitude. You see it EVERYWHERE online. In forums, in comments on YouTube, on articles written on various sites, everywhere. I think Facebook is an easy target because it makes the whining, the vitriol, the bullshit, in an easy to read format. I also think that people (myself included) feel like its a great place to share things with your friends and people you find interesting but sometimes you get diarrhea  of the mobile posts and start recording every single step, breath, meal, and problem you deal with.

I'm also putting away/turning off the cell phone more often.

We live in a world of constant contact, you can know what everyone is doing every second, of every day. If you want to get a hold of them you can call or text them and instantly get a response no matter where they are. You remember the days when you had to wait for someone to get off work before you could get in touch with them? Or you had to leave them a message and they would call you back when they got home?

In our world of constant contact it leaves no room for being alone, for being quiet, for learning how to entertain yourself, for learning how to be happy being alone because you never, ever have to be alone. You no longer have to learn manners, you no longer have to learn how to interact with strangers face to face, you no longer have to learn how to be a good friend or even a mediocre friend as long as you remember to hit that like button every once in a while. There are so many things to do and see and read, I just don't want all the distractions anymore.

So yeah, I'm not going to say "I'm taking a break from Facebook" or any of that shit, cause I'm not. I am still going to use the internet as god intended, for cat photos and porn but from now on, I am going to spend less time in the virtual world and more time in the meatspace.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Review - my current favorite moisturizer

First a bit about my skin. It's very dry but with an oily nose, incredibly sensitive, and wildly uneven in tone and texture. I have very red skin too which surprises some people, because I almost never go into public barefaced. 

When I discovered Sephora many years back, it was like the angels came down from heaven to show me the light. One of my favorite things ever about this chain of stores is that in addition to having a huge selection of items, they are always happy to give you samples which allows you to try the products before you buy. And the samples aren't your normal, barely enough to even have one full use but they usually last 4-6 applications depending on the product. This is extremely beneficial for someone like myself, whose skin likes to break out when trying almost anything new, and for people on a budget as they only sell what is considered "Department Store" or "Luxury" brands vs "Drugstore" brands like Neutrogena and Cetaphil. 

Most of my life it's been problematic at best to find moisturizer that actually moisturizes, isn't greasy but is still emollient, that doesn't turn me into the Human Pimple, and that makes my skin look and feel good. I've basically been searching for 20+ years. Add to that the fact that my skin is also aging and that adds another dynamic to finding the right skin cream. I was getting tired of going to Walgreens and randomly selecting products for sensitive skin, for dry skin, for periodic acne breakouts, for daytime, for nighttime. 

Finally I broke down and decided to go spend some real money on myself and try to get a better quality, better tested, and lets be honest here, better marketed and packaged product. Like I said, Sephora gives samples so I talked to one of the friendly gals who worked there, described my skin and it's annoyances and she gave me 4 different samples of face creams to try. 
one of them instantly made me break out, 
one of them made my skin feel taut and too dry
one of them was too greasy
and the last one was JUST RIGHT. 

And of course it's not cheap. BUT it's seriously the best  moisturizer that I have ever used in my life. I can use it daytime and nighttime, it wears well under makeup, it makes my skin feel perfectly moist and other than my monthly hormone related breakout, I haven't broken out at all. I love, love, love this stuff. To me it's worth every single penny. A jar will generally last me 3-4 months even using it twice a day, as you only really need a small amount to thoroughly cover your face and neck. 

As long as they continue to make this cream, I will buy it. I am in love. 

One thing to note - Amazon.com charges a full $20.00 more than Sephora for this exact same item so if you end up ordering online, don't order it from them. 

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Garter Belt! Stockings! My reviews/recommended products for girls with fat thighs like moi

Recently a friend was asking me about the garter belt and stockings I wear. Due to the fact that I have pretty large upper thighs, stockings can be problematic at best but I have always loved the look so I shopped around and tried a couple of different products and now I have the best possible look and fit for my body shape. 
One of the the primary things I look for when buying a garter belt is that it has 6 straps and metal tabs for the garters. There are a couple of reasons for this but the primary one is that 3 straps on each leg will help your stockings stay up securely through the day and feel more comfortable and the metal tabs will help properly secure the top of the stocking and hold them firmly throughout the day. When I buy garters, it's for wearing not for just for sexy time so that rules out the cheap shit you can buy at Target or the hanky-spanky stores. Due to my size that rules out some of the more expensive places that sell high quality garters but only if you go up to a size 12. (fuck that noise I say) 

I got lucky and found these garters on the Orchard Corset site and I LOVE them. High quality, durable, and  a good selection of  sizes and they are comfortable for wearing all day. This is usually what I wear under my corsets when I go to club actually. 

One of the other highlights for me is the price point. At $16.00 they are way cheaper than a lot of the ones I would find in a regular brick and mortar store and they work great for me. I have gone through several of these because I wear them regularly but they hold up wonderfully and I even machine wash them! 

One side note - on the Orchard Corset site the model is wearing hers way lower than I do, I actually wear mine up high on my waist, due to the material they are made of this garter actually functions as a lightweight girdle which in my mind adds even more value to it. 

And with a garter you must have stockings - Berkshire Queen size stockings 
These Berkshire stockings are my everyday stockings. One of the most important things for me is that I need the NON-STAY UP stockings. Any thigh high that has that silicone lining that is allegedly to help them stay up without a garter tend to give me muffin top thighs and I personally don't like that look. 

The trick is to get stockings like these, that have the smooth, elastic free top that require a garter. This helps smooth out bumpy upper thighs and is infinitely more comfortable. I get these particular stockings in Q2 due to the size of my upper thighs but the Q1 actually fit alright too.

The thing I love most about these stockings is that they are actually made for bigger girls! The most annoying thing about some stocking companies is that the queen sized stockings are just really fucking long instead of being bigger for bigger thighs. 

These particular stockings don't have any sheen to them at all, they are totally matte and one thing you will notice is that they don't have lycra in them like the pantyhose you are used to. This means they can take some getting used to, you may feel like they are falling down or sagging but in reality they aren't. I usually just throw them in a lingerie bag and toss them in the washer and then line dry them and they last me several wearings. 

PS I've seen on other reviews people specifying that they aren't paid or compensated for their reviews so I figured I would add that note too. I don't get paid to use or review these items but that sure would be cool if I did... 

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Rago 1294 Open Bottom Girdle

For my first review I am going to talk about my first "real" girdle and still one of my favorites. My Rago 1294 girdle. Simply put, you cannot go wrong with Rago. They have been making shapewear for 65 years and their products are wonderful. They aren't cheap but they're worth every single penny.

The 1294 pictured below, runs around $60 and you can find it for purchase on the Orchard Corset site or on the Secrets in Lace site in a large variety of sizes. You can find it on a lot of other sites too, but those two sites feature some of the best customer service you can get.

 This girdle has extra firm support and features 6 metal tabbed garters. If you plan on wearing the girdle for real (as in daily wear at work or on a long night out on the town) then 6 straps will help your stockings stay up securely and comfortably.

The girdle zips on the side and has hook and eye closures, also on the side which help ensure a smooth finish and a nice clean line especially when you wear wiggle or sheath dresses. One thing to note is that this come up right to the bottom of my bra and I usually will pull the back of my bra down over the top of the girdle.

I only really have one semi-negative thing to say about this girdle and it's that there is some boning on the sides that occasionally pokes into my ribs a bit more than I'd like but I think that has more to do with the way I'm built than the girdle itself.

An added bonus to this girdle is you can actually go to the bathroom without having to completely disrobe. I really love this girdle a lot and I highly recommend it.
another added bonus, it's sexy as hell
On the PJ Scale of Awesome, I'd give it an 8 out of 10.

in which PJ reviews stuff

I get asked a lot about the girdles I use, the stockings I buy, the shapewear I wear on a daily basis. Thing is, I'm not a small girl and it may surprise you to find out that it is actually *really* hard to find shapewear and girdles in my size. Since I get asked these questions fairly often and these are items that I use on a daily basis I figured I'd start sharing my thoughts and reviews of these products. So yeah...

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

rant and also a brief thanks to you parents out there

I saw an article today titled "Tips for raising well-rounded girls in a princess dominated world" and I will admit to feeling annoyed even before reading the article. I suppose I didn't even need to read it since I have no spawn and never intend on spawning but my curiosity was piqued so I gave it a shot. 

So yeah...

While not as bad as some of the other articles I've read it still annoys me for several reasons. I just don't understand the princess hatred. I'm just sayin, you can raise a smart, self sufficient, independent girl who also happens to like the color pink and being a princess. I'm a perfect fucking example of that.  

The one part that really got under my skin? "
  • Attitude is all: Express a lot of enthusiasm about the choices for your daughter that excite you." and I think the reason it bugs me is because it's making it about the parent and not the child. Like trying to get your kid to like what you want them to like, to brainwash them. Maybe I am reading too much into it but unfortuantely I've seen those parents. The dance moms, the pageant moms, the moms who live vicariously through their children and it makes me fucking sad to see it. 

 But then all of a sudden I remembered what the internet is for. Its for telling people they are living their lives wrong, making the wrong choices, having the wrong sex, watching the wrong shows, believing the wrong things, raising their kids wrong, having the wrong kind of relationships and everything else that they do wrong. Oh and for giving people common sense advice "want to quit tripping on your shoelaces? Have you tried tying them, it will change your life!" and telling them what they should be doing instead of what they are actually doing. 

You know what people? Raise your fucking kids the way you think is best, the same as our parents raised us and their parents raised them. People make mistakes (even parents) and it's not a matter of what mistakes you've made but how you approach them and fix them. Let your kid be themselves, teach them manners, teach them respect but if they want to be a fucking princess, let them be a princess. 

PS I'm glad I don't have kids. Seriously, you parents don't have an easy time of things and I appreciate what you do.